i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
