it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
