oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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