Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
