whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
