I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
