FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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