hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
