Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
try to milk me bitch
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
