Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
