You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
