i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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