I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
