Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
