I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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