Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
