just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
