nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
