I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
