Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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