OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
