if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
