At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize