People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
