Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
