I'm gonna have a badass scar
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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