I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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