If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
