im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
