I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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