We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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