Your tits are I can't wait for
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize