Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize