I only kidnapped one of them. chill
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
