theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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