I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
