Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize