she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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