Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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