It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
