the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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