I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize