she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
