my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
