Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
