Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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