Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
