i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize