You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize