The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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