....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
