ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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