So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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