I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
why is half of my head shaved?
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