It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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