I am spending my child support on dildos
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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