I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
