2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
