More tranny stories later!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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