ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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