That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
