My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
