good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
