i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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