..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
