you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
